Cats and Dogs are Still Fighting!

yo mother-effers! You wonder where Taffy got to but Taffy has been right here all along ya'll!


cats and dogs are still fighting by Taffy McKittrick

Earth Day!: The Cusp of Greenery

Ladies and Gentlefolk, my goodness gracious I apologize for taking so long to update my bloggery! Unacceptability! You should be aware that I was on unpaid administrative leave at my (putrid, hellhole) day job for reasons of a mental variety that I shall not go into further, except to say that one man's firm and reasoned response to office drudgery is (apparently) another man's 'ear-piercing series of girlish shrieks that disrupt daily business". Can I get a 'whatever!'? The time off gave me ample opportunity to reflect on my art and art-making and further how I can conceive, promote and make money from my art. Mostly this entailed me laying on the futon in my bathrobe and watching a series of putrid television shows while gobbling microwave burritos with the reckless abandon of a feral tree-sprite, which is to say I didn't actually write any songs but my mind is always churning. You know this.

In any case, I start back on Monday and it'll be a good thing. I can't wait to see what my right-wing nutcase teabag lunatic cube mates think about stupid Arizona voting to bodyslam any and all human beings of Mexican extraction as well as the AZ legislature voting to demand a birth certificate from people who run for president. I've said it before and I'll say it again: most people are f*cking idiots!!!

Happy EarthDay my lovely angels! Go buy a garden and eat sustainable cheeses
this week!!

random thoughts

I for one was pretty excited about health-care passage last week. You may recall a little bit of germaine info: Taffy McKittrick is a mothereffing artist! And artists need healthcare! In all seriousness it means that I can one day soon - or at least by 2014 - quit this stinking, festering blowhole of a day job, wherein I continue to suffer the indignities that come tied with filing, re-ordering, stocking supplies and the malaise disproportionate to my general well-being and thought streams. In short, I don't like my day job. You read this blog alot so you know this. But I like it even less after healthcare passed and so now I am forced in the break room to listen to Ed McGurkle and Timmy Sparks bleat about teabagging and socialism and how this country is going down the tubes. btw Ed and Timmy are real dumb

new song: Awful Falafel

Oscar Fever: Boils and Nausea!

dearest Readers,

if you're like me you ingested that foul concoction on Sunday evening known as America's Elegance Pageant, aka Glory Hole Time, aka The Oscars. This is a time when the famous and attractive and famously attractive don elegant flowing robes and celebrate cinema and themselves and their excellent plastic surgeries with a long booming ecstatic celebration party.

Now I have no beef with the red-carpet coverage (except that it could/should be an hour or three longer) and no beef with the red-carpet hostess duties served nimbly and ably by one Kathy Ireland who employed grace as she held her body at curious angles all evening long and shouted enthusastically at her interviewees, and I have no beef with the charm and elegant double-team of Mssrs Martin and Baldwin as they wove a sonic tapestry of extremely funny jokes and pierced the parts of my heart that had previously lain un-penetrated.

No, none of these things bothered me.

So, I imagine you're asking, what then Taffy, is your beef? Reader, the answer is coming.

Here it is:

There were zero, count them, zero (ie donut hole, ie 'the big abyss', ie nothing, ie not one) award nominations for what you'll agree with me is probably the year's best film, if not the decade's , an soul-shattering and heart-blistering, sweet and tender little gem entitled "Did You Hear About The Morgans?" whose title could be directed at Academy voters but w/ a slight addenda to make it more of a probing inquiry so it goes something like this "Hey, you nearsighted and selfish Academy voter: Did You Effing Hear About "Did You Hear About The Morgans!" Or were you too busy congratulating yourself on tiny movies nobody cares about!!!" I mean really: Precious? (an inner-city story about inner-city problems like drugs and rape? Yawn!) Up? (an old person dies and goes ballooning? Pass)! The Hurt Locker? (wartime and bombs? kind of a bummer isn't it?! ie, who cares!)?! Up in the Air? (George Clooney has sex in airplanes with minors?!) Is this the best Hollywood could do?

If you're like me you were slightly mollified by the inclusion of Transformers 2: Rise of the Machinist in the sound editing effects category (runner-up for most amazing movie of the year!)

But no plug of any breadth or girth can fill the gaping orifice that is left behind by the not-recognition of SJP as Best Actress (who btw can act effing circles around Sandy Bullcock!) and DYHATM as Best Picture, Best Screenplay, Best Score, Best Everthing, Best Tonic For What Ails Ye! You blew it Academy voters! You effing blew it!!

Heartbroken Until The Clowns Came!

Sweet reader, the Olympics are gone! The soaring has ended and my gilded hovercraft has crash-landed back on planet earth, sadly into a thicket of swampy, mossy evergreens, from wherein very little light can shine onto me. It was so bad that I had to phone in sick to work yesterday (note: if you are from HR this is a personal blog and you may not employ it for work related persecution!) and lay upon the futon in my own filth and watch Oprah. I didn't even have the strength to get out of my undergarments, bathe and/or play guitar. Eventually evening settled around me like a heavy blanket made of deep-sea fish. Law & Order came on and featured a man killing people with a hatchet but the man was odd because he listened to a genre of music called 'horror-core' wherein clowns rap about dark things. It really got me thinking: I could do a clown rap. Yes I could. I could rap about all things clown-like and clown-related in a manner that was respectful to all species and genders! I started to get excited! I pushed up off the futon and started writing ideas down with my purple sparkly-pen!! Whoohoooo

More to follow gentle readers. More to follow!!!

Health Care Bonanza: Mental & Otherwise!

Beloved Readership,

you are no stranger to my recent burning infatuatory glee at the throbbing sensations provided by that carnival ride in Vancouver (ie, the Winter Olympics!) and you are aware that my attentions are there of late 24/7. But let me share with you the fact that yesterday there was something equally as invigorating: the bipartisan health care summit!! My cube-mate had it on stealthily so I listed to some of it as well and I learned many things, primarily among them that Republicans don't like the 2400 page Congressional proposal or President Obama's 11 page proposal (which can only mean they don't like to read!)! Also, according to that curiously orange-hued man from the House, John Boenher, we have the best health-care system in the world! He actually said that. Well, hold the press(es) sir because at this juncture I would like to jump in and contest with that fact Mr Bohener and I will do so by sharing a story with you:

Now, let's be clear, this did not happen to me but to a friend of mine. This friend was having pains in the backside area rearward, (ie, anus) and there was bleeding when he (or she) defecated. This is not a good thing and there was lots of straining involved. Not knowing what to do my friend went to the emergency room and waited in urgent care for hours (!) while other people who came after he (or she) did got to go in first!! Reached for comment, my friend says: I understand that a kid with a broken arm gets priority but do you not see the man out there pacing up and down and squirming in the plastic seats!!? He is in such discomfort that he can't sit and he's inadvertantly barking at small children "it hurts!, ooh, it hurts!". At long last, they let my friend in to an examination room and he (or she) was attended too by an unkind health-care worker who appeared to sneer at his concern (granted the friend was sobbing profusely at this point) as she said "It's just a hemorrohoid, jeez relax". She then sent him home with a pat on the back and a tube of cream that he had to apply to his parts (ie, anus) in a very undignified manner!

So, that's the tale. It is quite unfortunate! I would urge you to share this story with your Congresspeople and let them know that there are Americans with serious medical issues that demand attention, not disregard and laughter and tubes of ointment. Healthcare needs more than just slathering some medicated lotion on it and calling it a day. No friends, healthcare needs gentle massaging and nudging and probing. Republicans should know that! (note: I am an independent!).